feelin jus hit rock bottom..
10..
9..
8...
7..
6..
5...
4...
3...
2...
1...
thats it..
i've just killed myself..
no longer the person u noe..
blame my stupidity..
-signing of here-
-Last Entry -
自我封闭是我的选择。无须任何的解释，就算是我一时的天真所造成这个也许无法弥
补的局面！ 可能唯一我能做的是静静的离开。
不必感到可惜，因为这是我的选择。
hooray, i finally finish my InMa.. no more killing n poisoning here n there.. actually i had fun althoug i really had a headache do it.. i kinda get hooked.. thinking i shall try something simple again.. hehe..
can't blog e pass few days coz my bro is back n he's been hoggin onto e damn desktop.. n my wireless cant detect again.. -frown-
haha he's not back today.. everything is mine.. -evil grin-
k e pass few days was fun. or lets say last week.. hoho.. teng drove me to n fro from school to home everyday.. her dad's car was cool.. more like a bus den car, KIA (korean brand).. very comfy.
Went out with them for e pass 1 week.. was fun n wif Chris.. flyaway production starting soon lo.. as a props anager.. i'm still waiting for e damn script althought i noe e synopsis alr.. lol..
went location hunting on Saturday.. yo yo wasn't in a good mood la.. n it affects teng me n chris.. well.. dunnoe wat happen she don wan to say.. things turn awkward abit here n there... n CHRIS N I WAS LIKE A SANDWICH.. okie.. nvm over alr..
was watching the chinese movie directed by jack noe on sunday(pao ba hai zi!).. towards the end the little said this which i feel is pretty true la.. the translation was sort of like this.. "if there ain't misunderstanding between frens, u wun noe who's ur real true frens tat cares" haha.. kind of think it thru of wat has happen e whole of this sem la.. n i'm putting it back as a bad memories tats all.. i don wanna noe who is rite or wrong from e beginning.. and who is to blame.. it seems pointless.. as long as everyone's happy n tats it..
today was e last nite b4 InMa submission for the tuesday class.. a lot of people was staying in the InMa lab n do their work.. i was there pretty early today.. ard 10 plus till 10 plus.. solid 12 hours.. n e air is so damn cold that i keep goin to e toilet..
yong came in n out ocassionally to help.. was damn frustrated during the slicing.. sitting their n stone .. was kinda on the wrong mood for a moment b4 i get back normal.. haha.. yong was being helpful to come ask me how was i doin n i was their kind of lost .. haiz..
dana, phoebe, gill made the room more livly in a way... dharni too... the whole room is filled with their laughter.. during the late afternoon i dunno wat happen.. i think dana n phoebe was playing ard.. they were like about to start a war by holding their chair up n ready to fight.. well.. i donnoe wat happen.. i'm rite in a little corner busy woth work..
stan, justin, shi shi, yo yo n pris helped me along the way while i was stuck with yong's dissappearance to a 2 hour meeting.. n he came back lokking so tired.. haha.. k i shouldnt be laughing..
we all stay till 9 where by the chief security came in to make a lot of niose by chasing us away.. saying that we didn inform them about the stay... the man was so ridiculous tat i could feel tat yong was angry la.. haha.. their tone of speech was like .. eh.. k angry la..
aiya that man la.. ku ku one la.. tok so loud like no one can hear him.. seriously i turned off n jus concentrating on my work.. haha
poor yong was suppose to leave at 9 but becoz of e stupid security, giedre n him has to stay back wif us.. hehe soorrryyyyy!!!.... designer's r last min worker la.. haha..
and one thing.. yongs gonna go on army or reservist or wat so ever in 3 weeks time.. have to say bye bye to his hair.. haha...
bleah k la.. i noe u .. i noe yong u are reading.. u go about telling ppl u read everyones blog.. bleah.. wat ever la... haha.. i jus complete my development folder.. damn 4 am in da morning... x.x (spinning)...
walked home with yo yo today.. she today siao siao one.. yesterday moody swing to like mad woman.. the walk home was all her voice la.. n she can still ask
yoyo: "eh shan, why only i tok u never tok arh"..
me:" huh, coz u today happy mah so tok alot lo.."
yoyo:"is it.. "
me: "-.-"
haha.. k k have to slp liao.. later InMa presentation.. lala..
see ya guys..
*BY THE WAY.. THOSE WHO ARE IN ALFIE'S LANGUAGE OF FILM CLASS, THERE'S A REPLAY OF WATERSIDE DOWN ON WEDNESDAY MORNING AT 10AM SHARP. IT'S OPEN FOR BOTH MONDAY N FRIDAY CLASS, I SUPPOSE OUTSIDERS ARE WELCOME AS WELL. *
nitez.. signing off.... ~~~~~~~zzzzzzzzzzzzz
was feelin fark up by a msg today.. n my whole day was upside down..
InMa was shoot again.. its postcard again.. design sense is totally 0.. well.. someone jus lend me a hand n kill me.. or poison me.. i cant take it no more..
trauma over trauma came pouring all onto me today..
TV pro was giving me prob today where i have to get ppl who is not even in my class to help..
InMa was turmed upside down again coz yong says i'm trying to get things that techonology can help.. i mark his words..
I"m sorry i blow up at my peers coz my frustration has hit the peak.. i noe i'm not suppose to but.. i've done it.. n ppl ask me not to apologise but to change for e better, well perhaps i'm jus tat bad in comparison to certain ppl.. they r e angel n i'm jus e devil.. so be it la..
i'm trying my very best not to give anyone attitude already.. but ppl ard me jus take me for granted.. pushing me to my limit.. hey i'm not here to tolerate ur attitude.. if ya ll cant control pls give me a prior notice.. dun hit me off guard..
well, todays another day where i dunnoe where my mind has gone too.. i was surpressin myself not to blow up at a particular personl today.. n i'm glad i've survived thru.. 3 cheerssss(hidden msg)..haha... carry on wif wat ever u all wan to give that person.. i'm washing my hands out... i'm gonner be the fixer at the end rather den trying to fix the thing where ppl don foresee...
*PS.. today's blog is jus to throw my feelings out.. ultimaely this is my blog.. i can write anything i wan, If any one feels i'm targeting at u.. so be it coz i noe after todays blog, i bare no grudge to anyone, and if anyone wans to blame, hate me or dislike me.. i can onli apologise.. thank u*
haha.. had been days since i blogged.. was damn lazy to blog and oso of my stupid connection.. darn it...
haha today school was as usual.. ppl pissed of here n there.. w/o slp here n there.. usually this kind of things will affect me to get moody as well.. but today i'm alrite.. I WAS IMMUNED.. haha... well.. not tat i'm not showing concern... its jus tat when there r too tired or pissed, my concern for them is totally ZERO... jus might as well shut up n happy go lucky... haha
today's laofi was as usual.. watch moive n have to write on it.l. but this is the last paper.. we r supposed to hand in on week 15 but Alfie extended to week 16.. haha.. theres no week 16.. but ya la.. to be kind Alfie extended e time la..hehe
today slack till 4 plus n head to music vox to listen to bassfish jam.. todays jamming sessions was supposed to be an hour .. 5 to 6 den suppose to watch charlie n choc factory wif gQ n joel.. but 1 had to start on InMa and another 1 had not slept for a day n was damn tited.. well if theres a chance den another day lo.. jus hope tat its still screening on week 16 haha..
i was upset but not angry wif anyone la.. dun see e point of making my own life so miserable by pissed n angry over such little things in life..
jamming session was fun today as well although onli left me n seks in the end but i had a lot of fun.. i missed bassfish jamming for 2 session last week... today found out that they had improvement.. but i didn tel anyone of them.. they r more bonded together in a way.. more co-ordinations.. glenn's singing was getting better and gQ movement was much smoother.. haha.. happy for them la.. although they are very tired but they still keep up the sprite to jam.. :) ganbatte neh bassfish..
and ya to mud was very very evil.. haha... i was paying wif his guitar wif concentration n out of no where he hit me on my shoulder n gave me a shocked.. mud hit ppl.. haha 1st time... 1st encounter.. hhaa.. well i think he's happy wif his performance today so kind of let loose n play ard.. haha.. good for ya.. i wasnt angry but more of a shocked... finding mud actually has an interesting character.. hhaaa
so after bassfish jamming went dinner wif gQ n rainer... gQ was feeling very bad.. having a very very bad maigrain due to lack of slp la.. hiaz.. ganbatte lo..
came home pretty early today so ya was procastinating today.. coz was damn pissed e past few days when i was working on my InMa... might as well asve my time for rest n consult yong tmr la.. hehehe..
was home n surprisingly found my bro at home.. haha.. later den i noe he got notice from his camp tat he's posted to taiwan for a year trainings.. wow cool... i can have the room all by myself..well i'm not tat evil tat i wan him to leave immediately la.. i wqas thinking this is a good chance for him to see wats outside as well la... n when he comes back he can immediate clear all his leaves n have his ORD... haha... alot of slacking time for time by the time.. haha..
still continue procastinating....haha...lala.. doin my last InMa layout in awhile....lalallala... tmr's P2n presentation n everyone has to be formal.. haha... well... i'm not very nervous now la.. but i think tmr i will la wif so many ppl in the LT watching.. arh.. formal tmr.. have to iron my clothes again.. hate the damn heavy iron.. bleah.. hoho... k k.. of to work...
BY THE WAY BASSFISH PERFORMING AT FAR EAST THIS SUNDAY . TIME IS IN THE EVENING 4 30PM TO 5 00PM... PLEASE COME AND SUPPORT... AND YA... TICKETS PURCHASE FROM RYCE EH...
ABEL DON FORGET $5.. HAHA.. joke of the day.. jahahah...=.=
Seriously, staying up so late this often had made me loose the sense of day, sat n time.. my day is still my day.. my nite is not my nite .. it belongs to my day.. sian.. had sleepless nite the past few days and today get my InMa done till this time and its like 1/3 done.. sianz till drop.. :'(
was in school at 11 am on wednesday, met up with adrian in avid .. nice using my comp to do editing.. i think the whole purpose for me to be in this grp is to use my laptop la.. hiaz.. watever.. feeling so insignificant.. wonder if i can manage to pass P2.. was toking to joel about if we cant make it how.. gonna retain 1 sem which is equavalent to 1 year.. pls NOOOOOOO.. i'l leave school immediately.. so is joel.. hiaz.. bleah.. k was telling myself n jo to me more optimistic la... but hiaz.. still -cries-
went to tv pro w/o my breakfast n lunch.. was starving like mad... damn jus recover from stomach flu n gastric n now it came again.. was having lunch at 4 with hans, kath, siyuan, max and jared.. ryce was not in e mood i think.. i hardly been able to tok to her the entire day... yeah n also i'm mixing wif kath, hans and joel more often now... haha.. nvm la..
hey, i miss bassfish jamming for 2 days.. monday was a private but today wasn't.. i missed coz of 2 reason but i will onli say 1.. hehe.. tat was i try to help joel wif his P2 audio.. damn it.. at eleven hours work.. nvm .. damn pro tool very ma fan.. all thanks to chris.. the sound man.. haha..
finial had the audio burn out.. n hand it over for shi shi to edit in AVID... took her damn long to complete.. funny thingy happened in AVID.. Linus was alone in express one.. so i went up to e door and call him. he wqas shocked.. 2nd time in one day.. woot!.. sorry Linus i did it one purpose.. haha joking.. i dunnoe u r so timid.. ya la... if i were to be u, i'll get a shock hell out of me oso la.. hahha..
joel was the funny one.. seriously.. no one can compare man.. was wif him in audio room doning nothing.. till about 8 and went over to AVID.. so joel as a gentlemen can;t let 2 ladies doin all the job even thou he do not have to do anthing.. so i sat wif LInus n ocassionally walked over to shi shi in express 2... tat nice bro of mind was along the path way in AVID pacing here n there.. dunnoe wats up his mind la.. hiaz.. so i say..
me: ooi joel..
joel:*slience no reply, continue pacing*
me: JOEL! why r u pacing here n there?
joel: arh.. dunnoe i have nothing to do.. so i jus pacing ard..
me: =.= *seriously i have no comments*
since i have nothing to do as well i pace wif him.. but after a few pace i was thinking .. hey why am i such an idiot to follow him.. so i went back to shi shi room to check them out.. haha.. was lame la i waste my time watching them do.. hey but dun think i really waste time la.. at least i got to noe how to do digitizing back to tape.. haha.. kool!..
Linus was damn pissed with P2 jus now.. coz there something worng with his tape.. he can;t record.. OMG his face was totally different... hiaz.. i was slience all the while looking at him goin from room to room... finially.. i dunnoe wat he did.. he finially got the darn thing INTO the tape.. hahah..
next was shi shi... she didn encounter probs la.. coz all the prob was encountered by LInus.. aha.. with Linus help we manage to get things done n we pack up n go.. woot!
Immediatley the AVID door closes shishi was mad n crazy screaming she has finish her P2.. haha.. can really see she's really happy n proud of herself la.. went to meet GQ n gang for dinner.. den tio aeroplane.. haiz.. watever la.. nvm.. hehe... had dinner with shi shi, Linus n joel.. Linus order the black pepper chicken.. it was so hot that he could not tok after he finishes... HE finishes his bubble tea and was still feeling terrible.. so he went to get a bottle of ice water.. when he come back n was about to drink shi shi said something tats making Linus feel worse...
shi shi: eh u noe when ur hot, the more cold water u drink the more hot it goes..
Linus:*unable to speak* =.=
me: ya should take warm water instead
shi shi: NOOO... not effective enough... should drink milk. You noe why.. becoz milk is alkaline and chilli is acidic.. milk neutralizes the acid in chilli...
Linus: *continues drinking his cold water and listen attentively*
me: wow.. (thinking yeah its true eh.. alikaline n acid makes neutral)
Linus: (finially he could talk) nevermind la...
Linus den very gek kiang la.. using the straw and try to allow the water to flow down back to the bottle.. we are all looking in amaze la.. e water flows down in circulating the straw..
Den out of a sudden all the ice was accidentally poured out onto the table..
Linus went..
Linus: eh white precipitate on the table...
shishi: white precipitate.. hmm.. its wat arh.. its nitrate..
me: =.=
joel:(as usual.. no idea wat she's toking abt)
Linus: (listen in astonishment)
and shi shi continues
me: eh den wats green ppt?
shi shi: eh.. iron.. iron ions
me: den wats blue?
shi shi: (cant rem wat she say, but when i say cobalt she agrees.. -shrugz)
she's so carried away till we say..
we: eh lets leave...
shi si: eh.. wah lau..
so we left..
along the way while walking to bus 293 we r toking nonsense of some dirty joeks.. becoz it was partially in chinese.. joel didn catch the joke.. okie well...
got onto the bus wif joel .. reach interchange accidentally saw gQ waiting for bus 28.. haha its so damn obvious to spot him in the crowd.. worse is the crowd is small.. hahaha... call him.. feelin that he was damn tired la.. n now its 6 10am.. n i didn see him.. muz be off to bed...hhahaha....
tonite i seriously is totally no slp.. hell.. i'm gonna be zombie.. but i'll control my temper.. hehe...
hoho.. another few hours to go.. i cant possible slp coz if i slp i wun be able to wake up..n thursday is a long day n i have to get ppl to help me do InMA slicing... arh..
as i type n type i thought i'll feel tired n wan to slp.. but its totally opposite... it cant be the teh peng i drank during the supper-dinner.. haha.. so ya.. maybe the slpin time for me is totally over already tats y i cant slp.. haha... nvm la.. watch tv... hoho...
signing of...
start at: 537 am
end at: 6 12 am..
hoho.. GOOOOOODDDD MORNING!!!!
to daddy:
so sorry daddy, but its not my fault. its all because of the damn air con that cause ur finger to get a cut.. hehe... get well soon den.. hoho sorry for e aniseptic too.. i forgot thats the strong one.. ni put too much for u.. oopppps i'm so sorry... i'lll put less e next time.. get well soon wound..
love ya,
shan :)
hoho.. today was cool... 1st time walking home wif joel di di... hehe.. as usual a lot of craooy stuff come out of his mouth.. no surprise.. lalala.... cool we toked a lot on all kinds of stuff esp my our people relationship.. haha.. i agree to all my hands n feets that ignorgant is bliss... hoho.. nice one jo.. well today i'm suppose to be doing my InMa.. but out of sympathy.. i stayed in school to help my nice joel di di with his P2 DAT recording.. it was hectic la.. we had e DAT loan out at 3 plus... suddenly i ask joel this...
me: hey jo, did u bring the DAT tape?
joel: *thinking n pondering* for a moment..
wait.. i thought we could borrow out from the equipment store?
me: ooi equipment store don provide one lo.. have to get it urself..
Into panick mode.. from e school canteen we chiong all e way to the school bookshop to check if they sell DAT.. and its obvious the lady don undersatnd wats DAT.. lucky kath came along saying chris might have.. oh my savour chris he actually had extra.. haha.. hey why am i e one so happy...it should be joel.. hpmh.. gaga..
so we went back den thinking n start toking about mono n stereo.. to our horror we onli had 1 mic... which means we r on e MONO mode.... arh.. its 4 20pm.. rush back to see if they can allow us wif 2 mic.. but the answer is NOOOOOOOOOOO... omg.. nvm.. went up to audio room looking for chris.. chris checked our headphone...
chris: did u all check the plug in size of the headphone?
me:huh??
joel:*rumble thru the bag looking for e headphone* arh here it is.. =.=
chris: arh ha.. e wrong plug in..
me:=.= great .. nice game...* check e time 4 30 pm*
me: eh 4 30 already.. faster joel let check if we can still get e person to change for us....
* pwoof* to the lift up went e lift and down again.. ran to e equip store.. omg to our horror its close.. damn it.. how to use w/o headphone... open the door about ti leave saw e malay guy incharge.. hoho.. a glimpse of hope..
me: eh joel e guy is there , do u wan to ask him..
joel: ask la..
me: good .. u ask...
joel:=.=
*walk towards the guy*
joel: excuse me can we change the headphone.. blah blah blah..
* to my surprise w.o a 2nd word he actually open n change for us.. haha.. to think he's not tat bad TODAY.. lol... alala....
k went back to the studio to charge the bat but b4 tat had a hard time borrowing the 2 pin plug from e GO.. hiaz.. waste so much on my effort n connection inside ther4e wif the 3 lady.. hiaz... hahah... hoho.. manage to get it at last at e cost of if i don return i have to pay.. my name n ic were taken down...
hey jo u better return asap... dun get me into trouble.. hoho... kkk...
was walking wif jo to e interchange to get his n mine ez link card top up.. den we walked home together.. our legs were tired to sat at e busstop to rest la..
but dunnoe wat on earth had happen when i get up to continue my way home my sole hurt badly.. like walking on something very hot.... it was so damn pain with or with out shoe la.. haiz.. reach home stuck to my favourite sofa for an hour b4 i drag myself to e shower room.. do my InMa onli like 5% .. den change to do my P2 reflection and the budget form.... hiaz.. k.
really cant take it anymore.. my back hurt again tonite... great man.. no need to have a good nite slp already.. n damn it i didn get proper slp e past few days coz i kept dreaming of the same person over n over again... which make my nite sleepless.. sigh... it was lucky last nite i was too tired to dream about him.. haha... coz my mind was filled wif onli InMa.. dreaming of my InMa layout.. haiz..
wat does those dreams mean leh.. i'm puzzled n confused... welll who cares.. bleah
haha
hoho tmr having tv pro meeting...n tmr's tv will be short according to wahidah last week.. i HOPE it really is short.. oh man.. i wan my bed..
signning off...
love ya all...
love my mommy n daddy... n bro in camp.. didn manage to get his call today.. so sad.. hoho busy wif exam in camp wor... ganbatte kudasai.... hehe....
nitez x.x
congratulations to rainer- san.. he won the Intel Cup 2005..
HIs next aachievement is the WCG competition next month.. every one put ur hands together n cheer.. hehe..
okie finally got my NEW InMa layout out .. hiaz.. in the end i still have to do something i use to do.. n its so cliche... diary layout.. sad.. e previous was being said like a postcard.. haiz.. i expected that la..
i oso feel it looks like a postcard.. but i jus like dat pic.. but its no more weishan portfolio le if i really choose to put that pics which is a skyline of SG.. hahha.. so have to change n do something dats me.. n thats by reading my online diary/ portfolio.. haha.. hope n pray hard this time works.. tats my very 1st idea thou.. haha.. was thinking of trying something new but den better not la.. i'm goin to stay on e safe line coz i don have much time liao.. we r suppose to start linking all sort of stuff here n there already.. but mine is still not approved.. great..
cant wait till its holi.. wat should we plan this time round.. e guys r asking me to hold aranda chalet again.. i was thinking so.. but this time round will be a small one.. n no food is included.. we r gonna eat outside..hahah.. rainer-san say can have 1 day bbq.. but pls spare me.. i don wan to end up wif ryce at gQ place again marinating those chicken.. i was scolded by XJ for e marinating.. bleah.. my fault again.. haiz.. nvm... Dun forget we have e NYDC coupon.. we can have our lunch there.. den dinner we'll think about it later.. haha.. those who wan to have chalet pls voice out.. haha.. if not.. i oso dunnoe wat to do for this holi la.. cant posibly have a an small neighbourhood tour.. actually can leh.. a one day trip to JB.. we all go eat there.. hahah.. cool.. but waste time travelling la.. next day we'll be all dead at home slping.. hahal.. SG still da best.. hoho..
e whole of the above para i was toking to myself .. its all nonsense.. so everyone can ignore.. ahha.. lameness overwhelm.. i needa slp.. its coming to 3am lo.. haha...
today was an emo n rotting day for me..
-sign off-
My Memories
|12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005|01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005|02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005|03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005|04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005|05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005|06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005|07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005|08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
My Friends
Abel
Beatrice
Joel
Sharon
Kath
Justin
Victoria
Jared
Mud
Lawrence
XiaoHui
Jacky
Philothea
ShiShi
Gillian
Adrian
Ingrid
Stanley
Zaihar
Ke Xin
Chris
Dharni
Zhili
Cream
Astoria
Si Yuan
IMD Boyz
Alex
Hans
gQ
